


Murder He Wrote

by ArtlessComedic



Category: Rooster Teeth/Achievement Hunter RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - No Rooster Teeth/Achievement Hunter, M/M, Non-Graphic Violence, Online Dating, Serial Killers
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-09-20
Updated: 2019-07-09
Packaged: 2019-07-14 16:13:26
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 6,238
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16043972
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ArtlessComedic/pseuds/ArtlessComedic
Summary: Brought together by the hip new dating app Browse Up, Ryan Haywood and Jack Pattillo seem like the perfect match. A wild and free contract employee who never settles down in one place for more than a month, and a crime and mystery novelist always on the hunt for inspiration. There’s just one little hiccup: One of them is a serial killer.





	1. I

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the meeting

_You’ve matched!_ The words flashed bright pink on the screen, the dot on the little exclamation point a cute little heart shape. Ryan was pleasantly surprised, given that he’d only hit the “match me” button on the Browse Up app around an hour ago. He flicked this thumb up to examine the details. The app was supposed to compare your search history with other users, and given Ryan’s career, he was a little shocked to see the words _95% match with Jack Pattillo!_ right at the top. He scrolled down and smiled at the profile brought up. 

_Jack Pattillo, thirty five. Enjoys the outdoors and long runs down zombie infested beaches. Poet, occasional chef, serial prankster, traveler, always out looking for inspiration. Quote: “Nobody owns life, but anyone who can pick up a frying pan owns death.”_ Charming, a couple years under his own age, and Ryan liked the idea of traveling to get inspiration. He went ahead and tapped the messaging icon.

 **Ryan H.:** hey! where do you like to travel to?

While he waited for a message, he tapped back to look though the photos on Jack’s profile. Lots of selfies of a bearded man in the wilderness, smiling and sitting under trees or standing in the foreground of mountains or rivers. A couple of artsy pictures of him with a book or a typewriter, and while his photography was decent, Ryan happily paused to appreciate his looks. This Jack guy was absolutely stunning. Red brown hair and a magnificent beard, and eyes that seemed to sparkle with mirth and mischief in every picture. He was a broad man, looked to be about his height, and Ryan wondered briefly how far apart they were, before the little message icon lit up. 

**Jack:** I like places with lots of trees and caves. Great to explore, and you find all kinds of neat treasures. :) Do you travel?

 **Ryan H.:** not as much as id like to. i do go up to the mountains every few weeks or so. im not very good at being a people person, yknow? 

**Jack:** Oh, I know that feeling! What made you decide to download a dating app if you don’t like people? 

**Ryan H.:** its less that i dont like them, and more that i have a hard time talking to others. i thought this app might help me find people with similar interests, and then i could actually talk to someone about my work without freaking them out haha 

**Jack:** Wow, you’ve tried that? I usually just keep to myself, and let my work speak for itself. 

**Ryan H.:** thats what i should be doing i think. but sometimes i think itd be nice to bounce ideas off of someone and not have them call the police 

**Jack:** LOL Wow, you and I are so much more alike than I thought. Our search histories were matched but I didn’t think they’d get our thoughts too! 

Ryan laughed out loud, startling himself. Jack really was charming, and Ryan almost wished he would have tried this app sooner. 

**Jack:** Speaking of, do you mind giving me a hand? Because I need to cleanly remove the organs but the heart is still beating and it’s killing me. 

**Jack:** Not as much as it’s killing the victim, I guess.... LOL 

**Ryan H.:** if you took it out while they were still alive it could beat for up to fifteen minutes depending on like, if they have any other conditions or anything 

**Jack:** Whew! I was starting to panic. I should get back to work, but I’ll definitely text you again later, if that’s cool? 

**Ryan H.:** thats perfect :) 

Ryan closed out of the app and sat back in his chair, running his fingers through his hair. That was...really nice. Maybe Michael was right, and he was turning into an old hermit, forgetting what it was like to interact with people in a friendly, non-asshole way. ...Nah. Michael was never right about anything. 

Setting his phone aside, Ryan went back to looking over the notes from the crime scene analysts. The blood spatter was wildly different from each room, and the photographs were a mess. He’d have to sort everything and get everything exactly right for his next piece. It had to be perfect. 

**\----------**

Jack smiled and slipped his phone back into his pocket. He could already tell he liked Ryan. He just. Understood. Was it too early to consider a meet up? Where would they even go? Jack was so meticulous with his work, it was hard to get out and be social when he was thinking about crime all the time. But...well, the idea of Ryan kind of made him want to try. He had a little more pep in his step while he worked, sitting a little straighter and humming a little more cheerfully. As soon as he was finished, he picked his phone back up and tapped in his passkey to get to the Browse Up app. 

**Jack:** Hello again. 

It was a few minutes before he got a response, so he made himself comfortable while he waited, now in a fresh pair of pyjama pants and a clean tee shirt. He was halfway through a bag of pretzel sticks when his notification light blinked at him, and he found himself smiling brightly before he even got his phone unlocked. 

**Ryan H.:** hey again :) sorry for the wait, i was a little wrapped up in my work, and then i had to shower because i felt all nasty 

**Jack:** Prime information for a guy you’ve been talking to for less than a day. :O 

**Ryan H.:** i hope i didn’t disturb your delicate sensibilities, mister pattillo ;) 

**Jack:** You couldn’t if you tried, my dear Haywood. 

**Ryan H.:** oh my, is that a challenge? i did have to help you with a still-beating heart if i recall....... hahaha 

**Jack:** That was definitely a one time thing, thank you. No more hearts for me. 

**Ryan H.:** im not taking any bait rn, im too tired to flirt, sorry (sleeping emoji) 

**Jack:** Too tired to flirt? That's like being too tired for breathing! How long have you been working? Taking breaks is important. 

**Jack:** Also you can't just type the words "sleeping emoji" it doesn't have the same effect. 

**Ryan H.:** too tired to search for emojis. (dismissive face) anyway i couldnt slow down, i have a deadline to meet. 

**Jack:** A deadline! Well aren’t you professional! I tend to work on my own times and terms. 

**Ryan H.:** thats the dream honestly :’) i think i care too much about what everyone thinks, and not nearly enough about what i think. its hard getting out of my own head, you know? is this right? does it look good enough? will people appreciate my effort? oof. 

**Ryan H.:** and then i spend a million years on getting ready, and a million more on actually working. im so slow...i drag things out...i just need everything to be perfect (crying face) 

**Jack:** Oh, I completely get that. It’s okay if this is too personal, but I’m curious... 

**Ryan H.:** go for it. our search histories are nearly identical, how much more personal can you get? 

**Jack:** LOL You’re right. What’s your favorite part? 

**Ryan H.:** oh, you were right, that is personal. trying to steal my tricks? 

**Jack:** I would never. 

**Jack:** ...or would I? 

**Jack:** Just kidding. I like to think I’m pretty original, but I always put a special twist into things, you know what I mean? 

**Jack:** You don’t have to answer. I was just curious. 

**Jack:** .....Ryan? 

**Jack:** I hope you fell asleep and I didn’t scare you off. Goodnight. :) 

Jack sat his phone down and tried not to feel anxious. It was not working. He was himself a very private person, why would he think Ryan would accept a question like that? He was an idiot. He was a jackass and an idiot and- for fuck’s sake, what was he thinking? 

He set his pretzels aside and headed to bed to sleep off his self loathing. 

Across the city, Ryan Haywood fell asleep on the couch, in the middle of drying his hair. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> rowdy dow, my first rt fanfic! be patient with me, i can hardly read, let alone proofread, and i procrastinate too much for serious fics. but i love this idea and i plan to update it, even if it takes a hundred million years.


	2. II

As soon as Ryan explained that he'd fallen asleep, the two immediately went back to flirting. It was sickening. Ryan had a hard time keeping himself from grinning at every message Jack sent him. His use of “LOL” and “OMG” like a suburban mother on facebook had him in stitches, and he knew right away all the best places to stab without killing the victim immediately. Ryan was honestly surprised he managed to keep himself from asking Jack out to dinner right there. But he refrained, and instead learned that jack had reading glasses that he never wore, he was born in Texas, but had been all over the US, and was settling temporarily in Las Venturas while he worked on a new project, which was just a city over from Ryan’s home in Los Santos, around three hours away. He also learned that Jack was exactly half an inch shorter than Ryan himself, a fact that Ryan used to tease him almost daily for the following two weeks. Until things got a little more serious, that is. 

**Jack:** I don’t suppose you’re in LS right now, are you? 

**Ryan H.:** yea why? 

**Jack:** I don’t want to spring anything on you, but I’m going to be passing through that way to go camping in a couple days, and I thought maybe we could meet up and say hello. 

**Jack:** If you have plans or you’re busy, that’s fine, but I thought I’d ask now while I have the courage. 

**Ryan H.:** im free, yeah :) that sounds nice 

**Ryan H.:** my jobs are really spaced out, so we wont be in a rush either, unless you are :) 

**Jack:** I don’t spend too much time in Los Santos lately, so I’ll let you pick a spot to meet. Can’t wait. 

He couldn’t wait. Jack Pattillo, five feet and eleven and a half inches of jaw-dropping gorgeous, Jack Pattillo with a thick, full beard and an irresistible smile, who made stupid puns and had Ryan absolutely captivated with every word. A poet, an outdoorsman, a builder, and a funny motherfucker to top it all off. Was there anything he couldn’t do? Probably not. 

Ryan almost wished he’d worked up the bravery to ask him to swap photos, just to see his eyes again. But now he’d be seeing them in person, in just a few days. 

A few days, and he’d get to see Jack. Touch his hand, hear his laughter, see his eyes light up with a joke. 

Oh fuck, he was going to see Jack in a few days! He had to find something to wear. Did he own anything that didn’t make him look like an antisocial serial killer? Probably not, Ryan tended to dress for the job he wanted, and boots and leather were probably not first meeting materials. Or were they? Was this going to be a casual meet up? Should he take Jack to some swanky five star restaurant he should have made a reservation for three weeks ago? He nearly tripped up the stairs as he frantically dialed Michael’s number. 

**\----------**

“You’re not wearing those.” 

Ryan groaned and rolled his eyes, and fumbled with undoing the belt he’d only just gotten done up. “What’s wrong with them?” 

“You’re not wearing bootcut jeans to meet your internet date.” Michael moved his feet off the coffee table and sat forward, giving Ryan the judgiest look he’d ever seen over the top of his glasses. “You look like an idiot.” 

“Wha- what’s wrong with bootcut?” 

“They’re fuck ugly.” Michael pointed to the quickly growing collection of pants on the armchair by the door. “Put them in the burn pile.” 

Ryan grumbled, but he wrestled himself out of the pants and dropped them into the chair. “It’s the _donate_ pile, Michael. I’m donating these.” 

“And everyone will hate you for it.” Michael smiled at him. “Now come on, focus! You’re not going to Olive Garden or Outback Steakhouse, you’re going somewhere that’s actually fucking decent, so you have to dress decent. No fucking around, Ry. Don’t you wanna impress this guy?” 

“Well, yeah-” 

“Don’t you want him to like you?” 

“Of course!” 

_“Don’t you want that sweet dick?”_

“Michael!” Ryan’s face flushed red and Michael laughed, waving a dismissive hand towards him like he could just fan away the embarrassment. 

“Relax buddy, I’ve got your back.” 

“Yeah well I changed my mind. I want Lindsay’s help instead, call her.” Ryan muttered, dropping onto the pile with a sigh. 

Michael snorted. “Absolutely fucking not. I can’t have you and your sweet model ass seducing my girlfriend away from me. That’s also why I didn’t tell Gavin where I’m going. At the very mention of you pantless he’d lose his mind.” 

“How brave of you to resist my allure.” Ryan said dryly. 

“I know, I’m a hero really. I don’t know what it is about pasty chicken legs that does it for me.” 

Ryan looked at his legs, affronted. “I’m not pasty!” 

“Dude if you went out naked I’d lose you in the snow if it weren’t for your leg hair.” Michael grinned suddenly. “Oh my god, Ryan! Let’s get you waxed! We can get you manscaped!” 

Ryan got up, raising his hands. “Okay, that’s enough! No more of that, thank you!” He rubbed his face. “I think I should just wear my dad jeans and a nice button up.” 

He was out of the room before Michael could protest, and returned a few minutes later in dark jeans and a white button up, sleeves rolled neatly above his elbows. “How’s this?” 

Michael stared for a moment, looking him over slowly. “It’s nice.” He said tightly, and the crack in his voice made Ryan grin. “The straight leg jeans, uh, excellent. Yeah. And the shirt is- it’s good. Really highlights those uh, biceps.” He cleared his throat. 

Ryan laughed, flexing his arms teasingly and laughing even harder when Michael got up. 

“Okay, I think you’re good here, buddy! You look good, this is the one. If he doesn’t try to sleep with you immediately, he’s a fool.” Michael shot him a thumbs-up and picked up his jacket. “Alright, good luck, uh, be safe. Don’t get murdered.” 

Ryan’s smile broadened into a grin. “We’ll see. After all, love goes beyond flesh; it transcends Death’s reminders.” 

Michael rolled his eyes. “Quit quoting shit at me, you know I don’t read. You think Jack is gonna like that nerdy shit?” 

“Oh, absolutely.” Ryan laughed. “He’s got a Burroughs quote in his bio. He’s got such a way with words...he’s a poet.” 

“That’s the cheesiest shit I’ve ever heard.” Michael smiled. “Good luck, man. Have fun.” 

**\----------**

Ryan was right about one thing: the cafe was adorable. Neat white tables and matching chairs, complimented by a sweet little awning that gave just the right amount of shade. Jack had been worried it would rain on the drive here, but it seemed to clear up as he headed into Los Santos, as if the weather itself was wishing him well on his date. He looked up at the sound of his name, and his heart just about stopped when he saw Ryan walking towards him, waving. He had a very handsome stubble, and his jawline was as defined as the city skyline. 

“I hope I haven’t kept you waiting long.” He said, and the smile on his face could have melted butter. 

“Not at all.” Jack smiled back, rising to his feet to offer his hand out. “It’s nice to finally get to talk in person.” 

Ryan took his hand, only to immediately jerk it away when the joybuzzer in Jack’s palm went off. _”Christ!”_ He shook his hand out and looked at Jack with wide blue eyes. Jack showed him his upturned hand and roared with laughter as Ryan took the toy to look it over. “Oh, I see.” 

Jack yelped and took a step back as Ryan reached out and pressed the joybuzzer to his shoulder, followed by another fit of laughter. “I got you so good, oh my god.” He wiped his eyes, grinning as he got himself back under control. “I couldn’t help it, I’m so sorry.” 

Ryan rolled his eyes good naturedly, but he still grinned as he sat down. “Me too. Sorry I’m going to have to get back at you for that.” 

“I’d be insulted if you didn’t.” Jack said brightly, and took his seat across from Ryan. 

“I can see we’re going to get along like a house on fire.” Ryan leaned on one hand. “There may be no survivors.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> im having a lot of fun with this story!!
> 
> let me know what you think, and what i can improve!


	3. III

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> heads up, this chapter contains the description of a crimescene! i tried not to let it get too gruesome, but still be on guard for mentions of dismemberment and terrible disrespect of corpses
> 
> the section of this chapter that contains this scene will be marked with "XX" at the beginning and end, accompanying the page break.

“Aw, come on, open the door, it’s dark in there, aren’t you scared?” The doorknob rattled as the man on the other side tried to get it open. “I promise I won’t kill anyone else!” Charles shuddered, gripping the knife tightly in his hand. He was cornered. The wind howled outside the house, the darkness inside seeming to swallow him up. Karen was dead. He had to get out of here. Did he fight, or did he run? How well could he defend himself with a broken ankle? But how far could he get on it if he tried to run? He crept towards the window as quickly as he dared, painfully aware that the man could come crashing through the door at any second. 

Trembling violently, he set the knife down on the window sill and tried to work it open. It was stuck, likely from years of disuse, and he whimpered when his bloodied hand slipped off it again, smearing up the glass. Glass! He picked up the knife again and smashed the hilt into the window, using his other hand to pick the broken bits out of the frame. 

“Open the door!” The man shouted, and the door shook in its frame as he pounded on it, making Charles jump. He swung his bad foot up and over the sill, shaking as he heaved himself up and through the window, onto the roof. He limped towards the right, the wind threatening to send him over the edge if he got too close to it, and whimpered as he was forced to his knees, the pain throbbing from his ankle and making it impossible to try standing. He looked over the edge and took a deep breath in. If he rolled, he could boneless into the bushes. If he couldn’t stand, at least he could hide. 

Instead of hitting the cold ground, a pair of strong arms caught him. Deceivingly beautiful eyes looked into his own, and he saw the demons behind them wave at him. Of course, by then, it was much too late. 

**\----------**

“So how was camping? Tell me all about your wild adventures.” Ryan said, placing a plate of fluffy pancakes in front of Jack before sitting down to his own across from him. 

“Oh, this looks great! Thank you.” Jack smiled, setting down his coffee mug. “It went pretty well! I wrestled a mountain lion with my bare hands and cut down a tree to make a canoe. Then I rowed out onto the lake and watched the stars and, you know, wrote some poetry. And after that I wrestled another mountain lion.” 

Ryan laughed, nodding his head. “So you’re telling me you’re...tough. But also sensitive. But also tough.” 

“Especially tough.” Jack assured, flexing one arm. 

“Careful, I’m pretty easy to seduce, but you might fall for me along the way.” 

Jack winked. “Not if you fall for me first.” He said. “Really, though, it’s nice to get out there in the fresh air. Nice and quiet up on the mountain. You should come up and see my place some time! I’ll have to clean it up first, of course.” 

Ryan looked surprised. “Really? You’d take me to your cabin in the mountains?” He took a sip of his coffee. “Isn’t that like, your secret sanctum?” 

“My fortress of solitude?” Jack held back a laugh between bites. It was almost...domestic. 

“Your Batcave, yes.” Ryan’s face turned pink. “I mean it. Don’t you, like, go there to be away from people? And, you know, work?” 

Jack arched an eyebrow. “You think I work on Mount Chiliad? Alone in the woods?” 

Ryan’s blush grew darker and he fixed his gaze out the window. “I mean it, Jack. I like to work alone. Wouldn’t you prefer to keep that place to yourself?” 

“Well I wouldn’t be working if you were there.” Jack said, after a moment. He reached out and put a hand on Ryan’s. “I’d be more than happy to take you up. You said you weren’t much of a people person, right? It could just be a weekend thing if you like, and it doesn't have to be soon. It’ll be easier to fight off mountain lions if there are two of us.” 

Ryan met Jack’s eyes, face all red up to his hairline, and down his neck. “I uh.” He cleared his throat. “That does sound nice. Thanks, Jack.” 

Jack smiled and went back to his pancakes. He left his hand on Ryan’s. 

**\---------- XX**

“What a shame.” Officer Vinks frowned. “Two victims in one night.” 

“What a goddamn mess, you mean.” Officer Jones put her hands on her hips. “I finished sweeping the house, it really does look like they were dragged all over before being killed.” 

Vinks tried not to breathe too deeply through his nose. “Uh, Officer Jones, ma’am, can I step out for a minute?” 

“Go ahead, rookie.” Jones smiled at him good naturedly. He didn’t understand how she could be so casual in the presence of such an awful display. 

When Vinks returned, he had a paper mask over his nose and mouth, and Jones patted him gently on the shoulder. “Okay, rookie. What’s your assessment?” 

“Um.” Vinks shuddered. “The uh, the victims...apart.” He said weakly. “H-hung up.” 

“That’s enough.” Jones said. Her pleasant face was pulled into a serious frown as she turned to her new partner. “If you can’t handle this, you’re in the wrong line of work. I need to know you can be tough when it matters. You have to be reliable. And that also means you have to hold yourself together in unsettling situations. Can you do that for me?” 

Vinks nodded wordlessly, his face pale. 

“Good.” She turned back to the scene. “Now, we have two victims, both neatly dismembered, each taken apart at the same joins as the other. Their remains have been hung from the ceiling, organs packed into tupperware and labeled. We don’t know for certain if they’re labeled _correctly,_ but I’m willing to bet they are. I’m also willing to bed they’re each missing a bone.” 

“A- a bone, ma’am?” Vinks glanced at her. 

“Mhm.” Officer Jones nodded. “I don’t know if they told you this when they made you my partner, Vinks, but I always take the cases that look like they’ve been committed by the Ossifrage.” 

Officer Vinks blinked. “Los Santos has a _named_ serial killer?” 

“Oh yeah. He’s a nasty one; named after a bird that breaks and eats bones.” 

“Because he steals their bones and- well, he steals them?” 

“You got it. Victims of the Ossifrage are always found with one of their bones stolen. And if you ask me, a lower leg shouldn’t bend like that.” She pointed up. 

“Oh, Lord.” Vinks squeezed his eyes shut. 

“Not here, there isn’t.” Jones said. “Looks like he sewed the leg back up after taking it out.” 

“That’s awful. I reckon he’d have to be pretty tall to hang all this up there, too.” Vinks reached up, but he couldn’t even reach the doorway. “What do you say? Six feet?” 

Jones smiled. “You’ve got a good head on your shoulders, rookie. You’ll get accustomed to the smell, one day.” She handed him a pair of rubber gloves. “Now let’s get to work.” 

**\---------- XX**

“So, this is that poet you won’t shut up about?” Gavin offered a hand while Ryan sputtered, and Jack laughed. 

“I guess I am! Jack Pattillo, nice to meet you.” He shook Gavin’s hand politely. 

“Oh, I know who you are.” Gavin grinned, letting go of Jack’s hand in favor of waving at Ryan, whose face was flushed. “Ryan’s told us all about you.” 

“Only the bad stuff, I hope.” Jack said. 

“Okay, that’s enough.” Ryan said loudly, glaring at Gavin as he winked. “Where’s Lindsay? She asked me to introduce you guys, that’s the only reason I bothered texting you.” 

“She got called into work.” Michael’s voice cut in as he stepped into the cafe behind them. “Sorry I’m late, my new client is a pain in the ass.” 

“Oh, what do you do?” Jack asked, following after Michael and Gavin as they picked out a place to sit. 

“Personal trainer.” Michael huffed. “But I’m considering becoming a murderer.” 

Ryan rolled his eyes. “You wouldn’t have the guts.” 

Michael shrugged. “You’re probably right. I’m strong, but not like, emotionally.” 

Jack laughed. “How would you kill someone? If you did?” 

Gavin and Michael both looked at him very strangely, somewhere between a grimace and that face someone makes when they’re in church and just thought of a terribly dirty joke. 

Jack cleared his throat, glancing between them. 

“Sorry, it’s just-” Michael sat forward, grinning as he crossed his arms. “Ryan asked me that same exact question when we first met.” 

“Did he really?” Jack looked over at Ryan, who was hiding his eyes behind his hand. 

“He did!” Gavin laughed, nudging Michael’s arm. “Give him the same answer, boi!” 

Jack grinned. “If it hasn’t changed, of course.” 

“No,” Michael sighed. “It’s the same.” He nodded across the table towards Ryan. “I’d hire him to do it for me.” 

Gavin cackled in delight and Michael joined him, throwing his head back as he laughed. Jack lit up, laughing loudly along with the couple and grabbing Ryan’s arm for dear life. 

“Oh,” Jack laughed, wiping his eyes with his free hand. “That’s just perfect.” 

Lunch went very well after that, and thankfully they managed to keep from embarrassing Ryan too much more, or he may very well have died at the table. 

“So, how would you do it?” Jack asked him, after they’d said their goodbyes and stepped out of the cafe. 

Ryan looked over. “Do what?” 

“Michael said he’d hire you to kill someone for him. How would you do it?” 

“Ah.” Ryan slipped his hand into Jack’s. “A shot of air between the toes, I reckon.” 

“Is that so?” 

“I think so, yeah. The death would look like a heart attack.” Ryan smiled. “Of course, if given a good reason, I could make it very messy.” 

Jack’s heart fluttered. “Wow. That’s beautiful, Ryan.” 

“I suppose I would take some sort of proof that I got the job done,” he added, “but I think Michael would take my word for it.” 

“Very professional,” Jack gave his hand a light squeeze. “I like that.” 

“Thanks.” Ryan laughed, looking away. “I uh. I have a lot of different ideas, but...I have my own style, you know? So I’m a little anxious when it comes to breaking my habits. At this point it feels more like an impulse. Something I have to do to, I don’t know, leave my mark?” 

“Pushing your limits is all a part of the fun, isn’t it?” Jack offered. “You can’t improve if you don’t let yourself outside of your comfort zone.” 

“Maybe you’re right.” Ryan nodded, but he didn’t look entirely convinced. 

Jack stepped in front of him, raising his hand to his lips. “Stop worrying about it. In fact, if you’re not busy, why don’t we go to my house for a while?” He offered. “I’ve got a nice place in Las Venturas, and my pancakes aren’t as good as yours but I have a fireplace.” 

“Romantic.” Ryan teased, but his smile returned full force. 

“And a wine cabinet.” 

“I don’t drink.” 

“We can stock up on diet coke then.” Jack said. 

Ryan broke, dissolving into laughter as Jack let go of his hand and wrapped an arm around his waist. “Alright, I’m sold. How long am I staying?” 

“As long as you want.” 


	4. IV

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> what did i tell you?
> 
> I'll update, even if it takes a hundred million years!

“Do you worry things are going too fast?” Geoff asked, his voice crackling slightly through the speaker on Jack’s cell. “Like, it’s been a month and a half and you’re already inviting him to your house?” 

Jack hummed softly, wiping down the countertop again. “I don’t know. I haven’t given it much thought. We hit it off so well immediately. You and I got off to a rocky start, didn’t we? A little awkward before we became friends. But Ryan and I...it’s almost effortless. I’ve already been to his house for breakfast once or twice, and slept over one night. I even took him to my cabin.” 

“You dog!” 

Jack laughed quietly. “Nah, I just slept on the couch. It was late. He wanted me to take the bed but I felt bad.” 

“I’ll be honest, I’m fuckin, I’m peanut butter and jealous.” Geoff said. 

“Of Ryan? What for?” 

“I don’t know if I’ve told you this but, uh, you’re kind of the total package.” 

“Kind of?” Jack looked over at his phone. 

“Well yeah, you’re hot and uh, you’re funny and super clever, but you’re also an asshole.” Geoff laughed, and Jack rolled his eyes. “But more seriously, Jack, it was like a year before I got to see your house, and you’re bringing this guy around already?” 

Jack picked up his phone and turned off the speaker, holding the phone up to his ear. “Listen, I just. We’re kindred spirits, Geoff. He understands me, and I get him, you know?” 

“Sure, buddy. You don’t need to justify yourself if you don’t think you have to. But I want you to be careful. If this guy breaks your heart I’d have to kill him, and I can’t afford a third strike.” Geoff said. 

Jack smiled. “Actually, I think he could take you out without trying.” 

“Bullshit!” 

“He’s muscular.” 

“He sounds like a bitch.” 

Jack laughed again, throwing his head back in delight. “You really are jealous! Damn Geoff, get it together!” 

“Not today, thanks.” Geoff laughed with him, and something clattered on the other end of the line. “I’m gonna let you go, buddy. Got shit to do. But introduce me soon, okay? I promise I won’t embarrass you too much.” 

“Will do. Have a good night, Geoff.” 

“Night.” 

Jack set his phone aside and looked around the room, carefully inspecting it. Immaculate, but still lived-in. A large, inset bookshelf in the wall adjacent to the fireplace. The hearth was cozy, freshly dusted and wiped down. He’d have to get firewood from the cellar... Was he coming on too strong? He wanted to spend as much time as possible with Ryan. Inviting him to his _home?_ And so soon? He was eager to see him again, surely Ryan was comfortable with the sentiment; even returned it! Why else would he agree to visit, let alone return the offer? 

Geoff always overthought everything, Jack just needed to relax. 

**\----------**

"This is...really nice." Ryan sipped on his diet coke, moving his game piece with his free hand. He's been here two nights, and it's just been an easy, relaxing time. "I'm not sure what I expected, but this is better than anything I could have imagined." 

"I'm happy you're here. It gets lonely in this big house sometimes. Also you're on my avenue, hand over the half-thousand." Jack smiled. 

"I changed my mind, this sucks and so do you." Ryan groaned, scraping together his paper money and letting it rain on Jack from his hand. 

Jack laughed, and Ryan's heart threatened to flutter up into his throat. 

Ryan leaned against him, watching Jack roll the dice. He could fall asleep here, Jack's warmth pressed up against him, the crackling of the fireplace behind them, the grandfather clock ticking steadily. He closed his eyes for just a moment, really enjoying the ambiance, when a knock comes to the door. 

"I'm on it," Ryan got up, popping his back on the way. "I need another soda anyway." 

"If it's a goofy looking bastard with a moustache, close the door!" Jack called after him. 

"Ten-four!" Ryan laughed, pausing to throw away his empty can before opening the door. "Oh- uh, hi there." 

A skinny man (no moustache, Ryan noted) stood on the step, trembling in the evening air. He came up to about Ryan's bicep, and Ryan would have thought he was lost and needed help- if not for the LSPD badge on the front of his uniform. 

"Good evening sir, sorry to bother you sir," the man tipped his hat, "I'm Officer Vinks with the Los Santos police department, and I'm looking for a mister Ryan Haywood. Sources led us here." 

Ryan frowned. "You found him. What do you need me for, officer? I don't appreciate the interruption." 

"I'm to bring you back to the station for questioning, mister Haywood, sir." Officer Vinks said, and his shaking seemed to intensify. "On account of the murders of Charles and Karen Ray-Lee." 

"Murders?" Jack asked, and Ryan nearly jumped a foot in the air. "Sorry, I could hear you from the sitting room, is all. Officer, can you tell us why you think Ryan would know anything about murders in Los Santos? You know, the crime capital of the East coast?" 

"Well, I- you see, he-" 

"I'll take it from here, Vinks. Good work finding the suspect." Another officer got out of the police cruiser out front, adjusting her walkie talkie, and Ryan was relieved to see the familiar face of Lindsay Jones. "Go on and wait in the car, rookie, and write down everything you've done so far." 

"Yes sir. I-I mean- yes _ma'am._ Er- uh...officer." Vinks looked away, his face redder than the tomatoes in Jack's garden. He turned and quickly marched away, and Lindsay sighed. 

"I'm so sorry about all of this, Rye. Gotta train him somehow." She hooked her thumbs into her pockets. "We would've been here earlier but he couldn't get the siren off and it was a whole thing." 

"So I'm...not under arrest?" Ryan asked slowly. 

"You never were." Lindsay said. "But we do need you to come by the station for a few questions. Apparently the victims were the ones who nearly ran you off the road a few months back while on a drunk driving spree. They had virtually disappeared, so no one could bring them in properly." 

Ryan's jaw dropped-- and so did Jack's. 

"They were murdered?!" 

"You were almost run off the road?!" 

Lindsay sucked air in through her teeth. "Yep. Pretty gruesome." She shook her head. "We're not pointing fingers, we just have to check with you to cover all our bases." 

"My insurance company has records of the entire event, every detail I could give them." Ryan offered. "Can I give you the number and not have to come in?" 

"That'll be just fine." Lindsay smiled and handed Ryan her phone, looking up at their host. "I'm sorry again. To both of you. You must be Jack, right? The one Michael and Gavin met?" 

"That's me." Jack nodded, offering a good-natured smile. "How those troublemakers managed to get an angel in blue to fall for them, I'll never know." 

Lindsay laughed, taking off her hat to wave it in Jack's direction. "I ask myself the same thing all the time! I suppose we balance each other out. I'm sorry we couldn't meet in better circumstances." 

"Me too." Jack nodded along. "You seem great company." 

She nodded, taking her phone back from Ryan. "And it's a burden I must carry. Well, I suppose that covers it. You guys have a good night! And don't worry too much, Rye, it's all just bureaucratic mumbo jumbo." 

"Thanks, Lindsay. You have a good night too. Drive safe." Ryan bid her goodnight and closed the door after her, and the relaxed mood didn't seem to come back. 

Ryan was very quiet for the next few minutes, seemingly lost in thought while Jack tried to distract him with a wild yarn about his youth. 

There was another knock on the door. 

Jack answered it this time, but Lindsay and Vinks pushed past him, the former of the two locking Ryan's wrists into a pair of handcuffs while she read his rights. 

"What's going on? You said everything was fine." Jack's powerful figure loomed over the shorter cop, who himself looked ready to faint. 

"Ryan told me his tire iron had gone missing." Lindsay said, her firm tone a far cry from the jovial young woman who was there just minutes ago. "And the autopsy report came back. The victims were stabbed, but their cause of death was blunt force trauma- with a tire iron." 

She began to lead Ryan out the door, and he didn't fight it. 

"Don't worry, Jack," he assured, even as he was being escorted to the car out front. "Everything will be just fine, I promise. Keep my diet coke cold for me, okay?" 

And they drove off into the night. 

**Author's Note:**

> brownie points to whoever gets my reference!


End file.
